Bhakti inside me!

Thursday, after another trip back up to the spring water temple to fill up my bottles, I met up with some old friends for dinner who I had first met in Bali last year.  It made me so happy to finally see them again- we have all traveled to far corners of the world since our last meeting, bringing so many stories to our reunion.  They are the kind of people who are right on my level, we understand each other perfectly without even having to say anything.  Their positivity and love is contagious!

            Then we went to kirtan with the legendary Dave Stringer at Bali Spirit Festival.  The venue was an incredible traditional Balinese structure in the middle of the jungle filled with hundreds of people.  The best way I can summarize what happened is to simply say that this took my life experience to the next level!  I’ve taken supreme joy in devotional chanting since before I was even born (Thanks mom!) and to this day, I live for it!  And last night, with the combination of the Bali energy, the great crowd, and everything else, I had such a deep and profound experience, taking me to a level of bliss and ecstasy higher than I had ever experienced.  I could physically feel the energy pulsing through my head and heart filling and flowing throughout my entire being.  I love life! This is the best life ever!

Sumbawa and being present!

On Saturday, (which feels like three weeks ago, though it was only yesterday at the time I’m writing this portion of the post) Ben and I made the hour long taxi ride from Uluwatu back to the Denpasar airport.  From there we caught our small plane to fly two islands over east to Sumbawa.  Ben and I tried to get to Sumbawa last July, but never made it, so this trip was eight months in the making for us!

 Then we caught a taxi from the Bima airport, stopping off along the way to pick up food in a wild and hectic local market and finally arrived at our destination, Lakey Peak.  The lush beauty of Sumbawa is amazing, its very lightly populated, especially this part of the island and the jungle is so abundant, raw, and powerful.  Bali is totally awesome, but it can be hard at times to get away from all the people, buildings, and vehicles.

            The first afternoon at Lakey’s, we got really fun waves right out in front of where we were staying, even though it was a bit windy.  About two hours into the session, I made a quick miscalculation on a sizeable wave and the next thing I knew, I was being bounced across the reef.  I gave up some blood and skin from my hand, leg, and chest (how’s that for heart opening! Ha!) but fortunately none of it was too serious.  My hand looks like its been run over by a cheese grater, but it’s a sacrificial part of getting to know this new island and well worth it!

            This morning we got an early started and scootered ten minutes south along the coast to a wave that Ben knew from being here two years ago called Nangadoros.  It was perfect! 5-7 foot lefts and rights, no wind, crystal clear water and even the occasional barrel to slide into!  And there was nobody else there for the next three hours!  We rarely sat for more than 30 seconds between waves, they just kept coming.  The only problem with this (a very high-quality problem as we say) is that three hours of constant wave riding results in lots and lots of paddling and my arms had turned into noodles by the end.  We came back to our place, superfed ourselves, and then headed back out for a few more hours.  The wind had picked up, but we were still the only ones in the water and had a great time.

            There are so many kids in this area and they are all so stoked!  When we ride by on scooters, no matter how fast we’re going, they’ll run out into the road to high five us as we ride by.  After surfing this afternoon, we went in search of a hot spring we had heard of.  We didn’t find it, but crossing a river coming back we saw two ultra happy kids who had covered themselves from head to toe in mud- I couldn’t help cracking up laughing!

            On the morning of my last full day on Sumbawa, Ben and I headed out for an early surf, only to discover that the scooter had a flat tire half way there.  Too excited to stop, we rode the rest of the way there on the flat and scored great waves all to ourselves yet again.  On the way back we stopped in the first village and the local mechanic pulled the back tire apart, used an improvised torch to melt the puncture back together, pumped it back up and we were on the road again!

            Later in the afternoon, as Ben and I were sitting outside our rooms polishing off a juicy watermelon, a pack of five young locals came up to us asking for “donations.” We played around with them a bit and offered them food, but politely declined their monetary requests.  But these kids were persistent!  They just kept on trying to negotiate!  I could never imagine being such a negotiator at six or seven years old!  Then I had an idea, which really wasn’t a serious one, but I decided to throw it out there and see what happened.  Right next to our rooms was a 40 foot tall coconut tree with perfect young green coconuts sitting at the top, which was significantly higher than Ben or I dared climb.  Ben and I had been craving coconuts for days and hadn’t been able to get any on the island.  I said to the kids, half jokingly as I didn’t think they’d be able to get the coconuts either, “I’ll give you 60,000 rupiah (8500 rupiah=1 US Dollar) if you can get us six coconuts from that tree!”  I expected them to either not understand me or to laugh at the ridiculous offer, but what followed was quite the opposite- one of the kids faces lit up as he said “Me! Me! I do!”  Within seconds, he was climbing right up the palm with a style that was a blend of a Cirque du Soleil performer and a Sumbawan monkey.  Within ten seconds he was at the top of the tree, standing among the top fronds, knocking coconuts down to us.  I was feeling a mix of elation at getting coconuts but also concerned, thinking, “You better not fall out of there!”  But all was good and he scampered right back down the tree.  All the kids were totally stoked on their payday and really thankful.  It was nice to be able to give them an opportunity to earn the money.

             We found a machete and cracked open our first coconuts since Ubud, feeling the hydration pouring into every cell in our bodies.  Mid way through our second coconut each, Ben brought up something very profound and important for me that only he could have ever brought up.    Best friends are great at supporting you, but can also be great at calling you out on where you are falling short of your ultimate potential.  Ben, with his profound knowledge of what I can best describe only as “the ways of the universe” and great spiritual attunement,  brought up something that he had noticed that morning in the water and often over his time knowing me- that I was often not as present as he knew I was capable of being.  This I knew to be true, though I had not ever really addressed it.  So often my mind wanders out of my present reality, either to the future, past or present in another location.  Often I find myself thinking of what needs to be done to develop my future career and what I want that to be, my relationships with others, the lives of people back at home and various other topics.  All of this mental wandering and concern with what I’m going to be doing in the future has hindered my ability to have the ultimate present moment experience.  Even on Sumbawa, the idyllic dream surf island that I had grown up reading about and ogling pictures of in surf magazines, I was still mentally elsewhere a great part of the time.  I had an incredible experience on the island, but it was not the peak fulfillment of the experience it could have been had I fully been there the whole time.  Ben offered me great wisdom in this area.  I can think all day long about what I want to be doing or where I want to be, but only by living in the moment will I actually end up where I need to be doing what I need to be doing for the greatest good of myself and all others.  This is a big one for me that I know I need to put major focus on.  We’ll see how my approach to it evolves over coming days, weeks, and months, but for the moment, every time my mind wanders out of the moment, I remind myself that “It doesn’t matter.”  I’ll get to the future at just the right time.  Magic doesn’t happen in the future, past, or somewhere other than where I am right now- it happens in the present moment.

Happy New Year! 1934!

Yesterday Ben and I headed south to Uluwatu and scored some fun little waves in the afternoon all to ourselves at a little right hand reef break, whose name remains unknown.  Today is Nyepi, the Balinese New Year, a day on which the Balinese all remain in their homes and silently fast- it is a day of introspection for them.  We thought this only applied to Balinese and that we could go surf today, but when we tried to leave our place, they informed us that this would not be happening.  So we're in the room all day!  Good thing we've got books, movies, and super foods to carry us through!  Tomorrow morning we fly to Sumbawa!

Oh yeah- on the Balinese calendar, today is the first day of 1934... never thought I would get to experience the 30's, but Bali is full of surprises!

Back in Bali

First stop from the airport- the nearest durian stand!

It was great meeting up with my friends Ben and Sayuri and we had a delicious dinner at one of our favorite Ubud raw food spots- Clear Cafe.  This morning we're going up to the spring temple to fill up on water, then heading down south find waves.  After being relatively settled in LA for five months, the gypsy lifestyle is taking a little re-getting used to, but I'm diving right into it!  More adventures to come!

Oh the signs you see in Bali...

Going out big!

This morning started in Taipei, Taiwan for me, after having flown 14 hours across the Pacific to stop here for four hours en route to Bali.  You go into a weird time warp when you're in a dark plane for that long, but I did manage to get some good sleep.  I arrived in cloudy Taipei at 5:30 AM local time and being a good ashtangi, went right to the gate and laid out my yoga mat to do my morning practice.  After that long haul flight, it felt great to get moving and open up my body.  Its such a blessing to have this practice to take with me wherever I go to open up and reconnect.  I did my best to stay focused while every passer by stopped for a few seconds to try to determine what exactly I was doing.  The janitor lady stood about five feet away and watched me the entire time without so much as even blinking!  I told Ben, who I'm meeting in Bali, about this via Skype and he said "She's probably in the dunnies now bustin' out some maneuvers!"

But before this day could start, yesterday had to happen first.  My final day (for now) in America was without question the best day ever by far so far!  Saturday night was an all-night chocolate making extravaganza that lasted until 4:30 in the morning, but Monday morning I flipped my clock right back around to wake up at the same time I had gone to bed the previous night to get in a yoga practice before crushing an epic green superfood pudding and driving off to the tonic bar.  I love working at the tonic bar so much that I crave it and miss it when I'm not there.  Monday was no exception to this, with all of my great friends passing by throughout the day for one more Sage superfood concoction and for hugs goodbye.  It was just one of those days full of hilarity- so much laughter and so much fun.  Most importantly of all, though, real connection with real people.
As soon as I finished my shift at the bar, I had to run out the door to beat traffic to Oasis Wellness Center to teach a super foods class to an excited and eager group of students.  I poured as much information into them as I could and was really impressed talking with them afterwards to see how much they retained.  Then I went back home just for an hour, to finish packing my last few items, throw together a delicious salad with spirulina and chlorella all over it, make an ultra dense superfood pudding to take on the plane with me (I hoped they wouldn't consider it a liquid if I made it so thick that you could turn the container upside down and it wouldn't pour out... no such luck though- security sent me back out and I had to eat it before going through again.) and head off to the airport.

The past 36 hours have already been so under out of control, I can't wait to see what happens when I actually get to Bali!  Time to go get on the plane!

Eternally Living on the Edge of Death

     I don’t watch movies very often and there’s not even a television in my house, so I don’t often get exposed to the extreme sensory stimulation that these sources provide. Am I missing out? Some might say yes. But for the most part I think I’ve found many better things to spend my time doing. However, when I do watch a movie now, because I’m not so over stimulated, it can often be a very powerful experience.

     Over the past year, I often feel that I’m in the fast lane, pedal to the metal with my personal evolution. It’s a wild ride and I totally love it. About 10 days ago, I watched the movie Beyond Borders, a love story of two humanitarian workers. All in all, it was a great movie, but far beyond that, it planted a seed of realization deep inside of me that I feel to be infinitely powerful- Life is so delicate, I could die tomorrow. I genuinely feel that this may prove to be the most powerful and empowering realization that I have had in my life so far. We’ve all heard so many times “Live this day like its your last” and other such phrases, and though I always understood them, I never understood them, meaning I never felt them resonate at the depths of my soul like I did this time. I now see that I have to live every moment with the full realization that I could well die tomorrow and must act accordingly! Far from making me fearful, this has wiped away all of my fear. Living this way is truly living on the edge and as the old saying goes “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking too much room.” Recently I read quote from Bob Dylan that my mom wrote down when she was my age- “What is money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” This is one of the best quotes I’ve ever read- but it only achieves perfection if what you want to do is really what you would have wanted to do on your last day.

     If I die tomorrow, will I be completely happy with how I have lived in my last day? What do I have to do right now so that if tomorrow marks the end of this life for me, I know I lived as fully as this universe allowed me to and served my complete purpose? This new approach fully liberates me to go big in all areas of my life, especially those which are most aligned with my true purpose. Once this realization fully sinks in all the way, there is no holding back! And that is one of the most amazing things I have ever felt!

     This has major implications in both the realms of work and play. The two areas where it becomes most exciting, though, are truth and love. On what may be your last day, there’s no time for anything but the truth, the full and deepest version of it. This goes far beyond just speaking honestly. It means being true to yourself and others in thought, word, deed, and intention. To me, being true to others and myself means doing whatever is necessary to make every interaction “real.” 99% of all of our interactions are so superficial, just barely scratching the surface of the depths of each others’ realities, so rarely ever really “seeing” each other. Of course those deeper realms can be sensitive areas, delicate, often with past trauma and pain. But when we can work through these past things and fully open to every interaction, it makes every moment, every word, every breath so much more meaningful. We have to start on the surface with each other, but we should only stay there as long as we have to. Once you begin descending to the depths of real connection with other people, really feeling and seeing them on the spiritual level, you just start wanting to live at that depth and realize that anything more superficial is just not worth it- especially on your last day! If you had 24 hours to go, wouldn’t you want to connect fully, openly, and deeply? To see and be seen? This depth of connection is where you really find the truth.

     Now for the implications of this realization as it pertains to love. Many people often talk about being rich or wealthy with love. I have been blessed to always have had so much love in my heart, which by this definition makes me a very wealthy man. Here are some true statements (from a wonderful recent blog by David Wolfe) about wealth and feel free to replace the word “wealth” with “love” and see how perfectly it works!

•True wealth (love) cannot be hoarded, only shared
•True wealth (love) is not created by what one has acquired, but by what one gives away
•And true wealth or happiness in oneself (love) is directly proportional to the happiness (love) that one brings to others

If this is my last day, there is absolutely no option- the only way is to love completely. 100% genuinely, unconditionally, and whole-heartedly in whatever way possible. When my time is done, I will know that I loved as fully as I possibly could. It is now inconceivable do anything less than give complete love. I don’t mean to make this sound simple or easy, because it definitely isn’t. I really believe in the lesson taught in James Redfield’s The Celestine Prophecy about love. Love is a super-powerful energy of which we can hold onto great amounts, but not infinite amounts. We have to be able to replenish our reserves, downloading directly from the universe in order to be able to give consistently and abundantly without ever depleting our reserves. The best way to do this, in my experience, is to have meaningful experiences in nature. If we can do this every day, even better! This reconnects us to the source from which we came and allows us to love without limits. And on your last day, don’t you want to be able know that you loved without limits? There are many ways of giving love and I will find along the way that people often aren’t ready, prepared, or comfortable receiving love in certain ways at this moment. This may change or evolve in that person over time, but I can’t be attached to that change. This lesson has come to me several times in the past year and I am now finally completely understanding.  Instead, I get to let go of that attachment and figure out how I can give that person love and take that route to give it fully! If someone isn’t open to love in words, I will give total love with my eyes and smile. If someone isn’t open to physical love, I will give total love with my heart and spirit. I will always find a way because this is the most important thing in life. This way, when I exhale for the last time, whether that comes tomorrow or in 3000 years, I will know in the deepest depths of my heart that I loved completely. There are many ways to die, but what matters most to me is to die knowing this as my deepest truth.